Serenity

The dreams that we shared, the future you said.
The life that we lead, the differences that you made.
The gap that we had, the tiny effort you gave.
The spilt that we had, the minimal care you showed.
But, im glad that I get to participate in weaving the story of your dream even though im not in it.

Yes, that low esteem of mine, creates milllions and millions of holes and trap waiting for me to fall.
I never doubt about every single stuff that occurs, as I deem them as a punishment for me. In which I should go through. I have to continue, facing them as for who I am, I am sinful. But who would have knew, that low esteem is part of me? Trying hard to pull myself down, so I can rest comfortably in self sorrow. Rest comfortably in arms of relinquished dreams. That im not capable of anything. So I can just fade away and live in a stress less life by telling myself im depressed enough to take no more.

Its dumb, when you believed tuat very lie to comfort your own heart.
Whatever you hide by trying to blind yourself, is even more clearer than what you see.
Trying to blind yourself, makes your heart even more focus, focus on the reason given to ease that little thing in life that he or she couldnt be bothered to spend a minutes more.
Everyone get their new toy fast.
If to you I am just a toy, Please, I am not, and I am not born to entertain, but to be appreciated.
Before you knew, I actually knew tuat before you do.
Go away.
Im leaving.

Look at this hand, frail and dry.
Look at that hand, swollen and big.
Look at them, they been through alot. Hand that starts to feel warm since they are born.
This is the hand that was bleeding when they start learnt how to walk because they fell.
The hand that use to write.
The hand that they use to feel their love one.
The hand that they use to exchsnge their life time vows.
The hands that they use to nurse their young ones.
The hand that use to hand their son and daughter to someone.
The hand that they use to carry their grandchildren.
This hand gets colder and colder as time passes.
Passing the warmth they first felt to someone else before they leave the world maybe their one last wish.

Your love is like glaring sun pushing me back into the sea when i surfaced.

At times, its like starless night, leaving me to wither off in the dark cold atmosphere back into the ocean.

Never once doubted the reason but Im always left alone to fight speechlessness.

You never know, the distance i kept from the surface of the sea, it is like the distance i kept myself away from reality.

“Give me love”
“Give me love”

“What is love?”

Ever felt standing in the mid of crowd, seeing people moving forward and disappear slowly? Or perhaps stop runnning in the mid of a race, seeing others dash past the line where you are right there staring… asking yourself, why run this race?

Just at times, when you feel everyone is moving forward, while you felt being lagged behind, just ask yourself, are you ready?

Let’s say it is miracle. A Chance given to remeet. Rather than being a stranger that i once know, isn’t it better to start off with a brand new stranger. Let us live like we never knew there is someone like you or me. If we are meant to meet again, we will…agree? From the start, who should assume that they know someone, when sometimes we cant even understand ourselves? If we never assume that we knew that person, there will never be disappointment.

Leaving this world for tranquility, just why i dont understand. Life could be miserable at times. The tears they cried, the atmosphere they created, the sound they played, brought part of me back. Early morning, even pounding of drizzling rain can be too hard to tolerate. Your suppose to be cold and clammy hands, are even warmer than my palm. I remember i told myself i will not forget the moment… Your last warm, it travels straight right into my heart. I can go back there a million times, but no way i could get you back. At times i wonder and hope for life with you two around. How would it be like? Better i guess? Wonderful, fantastic, lovable.